Youssef, it’s me Bella. In my quiet voice. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. The pain is unbearable. I don’t make it through. I can’t remain intact. I will find comfort in letting it destroy me. I decide. I decided for myself. I know it will break me. I let it break me. There are so many parts to me I do not want. I let it break me. I leave the pieces behind. I say let me look at you, broken piece, what you needed was a hug. I say let me look at you, broken piece, what you needed was a mom. I say let me look at you, broken piece, what you needed was the truth. I say let me look at you, broken piece, what you needed was to be held and held and held. I say let me look at you, broken piece, what you needed was to go. I look at my broken pieces, I have to get going right now I have to get going. By the time it settles a new wound will appear. At that time I will be so glad to have left. I have to get going right now I have to get going. Youssef, the chances of meeting you here are very unlikely but I write to you anyway.