come and get me soon i need refuge

a new message has arrived. i’ve been feeling like i need to be tough even though i’d rather my power be fuelled by softness right now. i’m clearing my path one task at a time. i recognize loss but i want to move on. i have been feeling strange all day. i have one last cry in me. deep. alleviation comes through art. tears pool but they don’t really drop. everything feels like its escaping me. i get high often, the pain is otherwise unbearable. unloved. you hurt me. i stayed. you did it again and again. unloved, i blame me.