They Go By — 12.23.2020
They Go By
It’s me, Bella. I didn’t introduce myself. I’m here for expression. And memory. I’m here to cope. I’m here to voice myself. I’m here to advance. To transform. It’s important that I say this. It’s important that I go slow. I changed the look of this stage recently to try and make it easier to be found. That was a mistake. I’m back to the organized chaos. I have a pure intent this time. I’m giving up alcohol. Don’t worry. Don’t panic. I’m still doing drugs. Don’t worry. Don’t panic. Am I manic or am I numb, am I manic or just excited again. Finally. The light is within me after all. I let it reach me. In December I listen to the King, something something about Ribs. I can feel joy if I let me. In December I remember falling in love. My world. Flame. What was I saying when I wanted to love You? I can’t recall a thing. I put it on my tongue and I say relieve me of these memories and suddenly I forget. I feel joy. I forget. I feel colours for feelings that I feel without you, I forget. I’ll have to put it on my tongue again tomorrow. I’ll have to keep this high for a few days. A few weeks a few days a few months they go by.